“I promise to love you, even when I hate you”

Updated: Jun 6, 2020


Hi, So, I know you are thinking… “Hey... How is there a new blog already?? She only posted, like once a month or something.” But like I said in my previous blog, I am going to change that! My blogs might be a bit shorter, but they will be more and who knows, maybe your lazy bones might actually read through the whole thing. In the middle of February all you see is red and pink, hearts and sweet words and rhymes. So whether you have already found your love or are still searching, life is too short to waste it on people that are not worth your time, or on food that doesn’t taste good! Keep the fire inside ignited and follow your dreams.

Lindi van Heerden Jaco van Heerden at Airport

I have been married for over 2 years now, but we are celebrating 10 years together this year. I am not an expert on the “Love” subject at all but I have a bit of experience. So with that said I thought I might write something for Valentine’s Day. Cheesy I know, I know, but I am a hopeless romantic. So today’s blog is about: How to love your significant other, even if you don’t like them…….. at that particular moment. 1. Don’t understand, just love. Before we got married my mom gave my husband a bit of advice; “Don’t try and understand her, just love her” I think my mom might not have realised that the advice was applicable to me as well. You cannot always understand why the other person does the things they do, but it is not always your place to know. Every now and then you need to close your eyes and just trust! 2. Remember why you love him/her so dearly even when you do fight. One day I asked my students: “Give me an example of the best words that someone has ever said to you”. One guy replied and said; “Ma'am, the best words is when your High School crush says; “Hi”. That struck a chord with me. It is the best feeling, to be in love and trusting that person with your whole heart. That is what happens when you first fall in love. You allow yourself to be vulnerable and you allow that person to sweep you off your feet. Remember that amazing feeling and what it means to truly be in love. 3. Take a “time out” from fighting. This is not easy and I am still learning and practicing this today, and will probably in future. Take a pause, breathe and stop the fight before it gets too heavy! When things aren’t going the way they were supposed to, you might say something you are going to regret later. Taking “a pause” gives both parties the chance to cool off and regain perspective. 4. Be spontaneous. This is hard when you have been together for a really long time. The only reason the passion runs dry is because we don’t put the same effort and attention into our relationships that we did in the first few months. We get lazy and think, “Well he knows I love him”, until he doesn’t. So my advice, even if you are going to be home and have nothing planned, spend time together. Do a dinner for two on the carpet in your living room. Watch a movie together and buy his favourite chocolate, or write a note “I promise to love you, even when I hate you” Ps. Never go to sleep angry. Say you are sorry, ESPECIALLY THE LADIES. And always give a kiss good night! Love,

Lindi

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