Let’s be real—asking ourselves “What truly makes me happy?” feels a bit like opening Pandora’s box. It’s a big question, one that doesn’t always come with easy answers. But lately, I’ve been sitting with it, and let me tell you, it’s been a journey.
Living with purpose sounds great in theory, but actually doing it? That’s another story. It’s about showing up every day and making intentional choices, even when you’re not sure if you’ll see the rewards right away. And it’s about figuring out who you are beneath all the titles: mom, wife, friend, neighbour, daughter.
A Little Window Into My Mind
The other morning, I found myself scribbling away in my diary, and this is what came out:
“Back at it again. Need to find ‘ME’ again. Do more of the things that fill my cup. Learn to be good at being me. Not the roles I’m playing—the role of mom, wife, daughter, neighbour, friend. But Lindi. Who was that little girl inside before she had people depend on her? What did she like, and what excited her?”
Ever have those moments? Where you feel like you’ve been giving so much of yourself that you’ve forgotten what makes you you? I realised that I’ve been pouring my energy into everyone else and leaving myself with the scraps. And while it’s amazing to be there for the people we love, it’s equally important to not lose sight of ourselves.
Balancing Act: Giving vs. Being
Here’s the thing—our happiness shouldn’t hinge entirely on the people around us. It’s not fair to them or to us. Imagine depending on someone else for all your joy, and then feeling resentful when they don’t show up the way you hoped. Not great, right? I’ve been there, thinking,
“I do all this for you, and you don’t even notice!”
But the truth is, they didn’t ask me to sacrifice my happiness for theirs. They deserve to know the full, happy, authentic me, not the burnt-out, resentful version.
Steps I’m Taking to Reclaim Myself
Here are a few things I’ve started doing to reconnect with who I am:
1. Going to Bed Earlier
I love staying up late, telling myself I deserved some “relax time” after the kids went to bed. But honestly, it just left me more tired and cranky. Now, I try to be in bed by 10 PM.
2. Waking Up Early
Setting my alarm for 6 AM. This gives me a precious hour before the house wakes up. I use it to write, sip my coffee in peace, or just sit in the quiet. It’s become my favourite part of the day.
3. Doing Something Just for Me
Whether it’s a workout, a quick nap, or getting lost in a book, I want to make sure to carve out time that’s all mine. It doesn’t have to be fancy—just something that fills my tank.
If you are struggling to stay focused, then you might find some helpful tips in my article on How to Stay Focused in a Distracted World.
A Few Extra Tips That Might Help
Here’s what I’ve found super helpful (and maybe you will too):
1. Practice Mindfulness
Taking a few minutes to be fully present—whether it’s
through meditation, deep breathing, or just sitting quietly—can work wonders for your mental state. It helps me check in with myself and reset when things get overwhelming.
2. Journal Your Thoughts
There’s something powerful about putting pen to paper. Writing down what’s swirling around in your head can give you clarity and help you process emotions. Plus, it’s like having a conversation with yourself—no interruptions!
If self-doubt is holding you back, check out my post on Overcoming Self-Doubt to Pursue Your Dreams for some practical steps to boost your confidence.
3. Set Boundaries
Learning to say no has been a huge one for me. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about recognising your limits and protecting your energy. Trust me, the world won’t fall apart if you say no once in a while. Even to the kids.
4. Connect With Your Passions
Remember those things you used to love doing before life got busy? Revisit them. Whether it’s painting, dancing, or gardening,
tapping into your passions can be a beautiful way to reconnect with yourself.
5. Reach Out for Support
Sometimes, figuring this out on your own can feel overwhelming. Talking to a coach or therapist can give you that extra bit of guidance and support you need to find your way back to yourself. Someone other than the “important” people in your life. Happy to be that sound board for a free 15-minute chat to explore your goals and how I can support you. Book your session here."
Finding That “With or Without You” Energy
Here’s a big one: learning to be happy with or without the people around you. It’s about finding joy within yourself, so your happiness isn’t tied to anyone else’s actions or decisions. It’s not about shutting people out, but about knowing you’ll be okay no matter what.
I will be happy without you, but I don’t want to be happy without you. This is bringing tears to my eyes because it is scary. It is scary to imagine a life without any of the people I love. I don’t want to imagine that.
This perspective has helped me feel more grounded and confident. I can love and support the people in my life, but I also know that my happiness is my responsibility.
The Road Ahead
Rediscovering yourself isn’t a one-time thing—it’s a process. There will be days when it feels easy and days when it’s a struggle. But every small step you take brings you closer to the person you’re meant to be.
Remember, the people who love you want to see the real you. By showing up as your authentic self, you’re not just doing yourself a favour—you’re strengthening your relationships too.
Take care,
Lindi
Ps. If you’re on this journey too and want someone to chat with, I’d love to connect. Sometimes, just talking things through can make all the difference. Feel free to book a free 15-minute chat with me, and let’s explore how you can start living more authentically. Book your session here.
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