Life is messy, chaotic, and often overwhelming, isn’t it? But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that those messy, chaotic moments often end up being the ones we remember most fondly.
Yesterday, while sitting on a train with my two kids on our way to a visa appointment, I found myself right in the middle of one of those moments.
The kids were full of energy—wiggling, giggling, climbing, asking questions—basically doing everything kids do best when you’re in a small, confined space.
I was overwhelmed. My thoughts were racing, and my patience was wearing thin. It felt like the world was closing in, and I was barely keeping my head above water.
And then, I noticed him…
An older man sitting across from us, watching the scene unfold. But his expression wasn’t one of frustration or annoyance (thank goodness!). It was something else—something softer. He had a look in his eyes that said, I remember those days.
The Power of Perspective
In that moment, his look shifted something in me. Here I was, caught in my frustration, wishing for peace and quiet, when he was looking at us with what seemed to be a mix of nostalgia and longing.
To him, my chaos was a memory of something beautiful—a time in his life that had passed, leaving behind stories, laughter, and love.
It reminded me of something I’ve been guilty of far too often: rushing through the moments of life, wishing for the next stage, and completely forgetting to appreciate the one I’m in.
The Beauty in Life’s Messy Moments
It’s so easy to get caught up in the stress and logistics of life—planning for the future, worrying about the next milestone, trying to “get through” whatever challenge is in front of us. We think, Once I get there, then I’ll be happy.
But that man’s gaze reminded me that someday, I’ll look back on these exact moments and wish I could relive them. Not because they were easy, but because they were real.
These messy, overwhelming, imperfect moments are what life is made of. They’re the ones that become the stories we tell.
The Stories We’ll Tell
One day, my kids won’t remember how frazzled I was on the train or how much effort it took to keep them entertained. They won’t recall my inner frustration or the deep breaths I had to take to keep my cool.
What they will remember is the adventure—the thrill of riding a train, the joy of being out in the world, and the love and attention I gave them (even if it didn’t feel like enough in the moment).
And it’s not just these moments with my kids that matter. I’ve found myself thinking back to a younger version of me—the one who was full of anxiety about figuring life out.
To My Younger Self (and Those in That Stage Now)
I remember being in high school and university, feeling like I was on a constant treadmill of questions:
What am I going to do with my life? Am I making the right choices? Am I wasting my time?
There were weeks when I felt like I had it all together, and then weeks when I didn’t—when I partied too much, wasn’t on top of my grades, or felt like I was letting myself down.
I remember feeling like every misstep was catastrophic, like I was falling behind some invisible schedule I thought I needed to follow.
But now, when I look back, I see those moments for what they truly were: precious, fleeting, and full of life. The fun, the friendships, the confusion, and even the mistakes—they were all part of the journey.
I wish I had spent less time worrying about what I was supposed to do and more time enjoying what I was doing. I wish I had let myself lean into the uncertainty, the freedom, and the chaos of those days. Because now, looking back, those are the memories I cherish the most.
So, to anyone in that stage of life: enjoy the confusion. Enjoy those nights hanging out with friends because you don’t know what else to do. Enjoy the lazy mornings during school holidays, the silly conversations, and the times when you feel like you’re “wasting time.”
Clarity will come. It always does. But these messy, uncertain moments? They’re just as important, just as beautiful, and they deserve to be lived fully.
The Trap of “When” Thinking
We all fall into it, don’t we? That trap of thinking, When things calm down, I’ll finally enjoy myself, or Once I achieve this next milestone, then I’ll feel content.
But here’s the hard truth: life rarely “calms down.” There’s always a next milestone, a new goal, or another challenge waiting around the corner. And if we’re not careful, we spend our whole lives chasing the next thing, forgetting to appreciate how far we’ve already come.
The moments we’re living right now—no matter how chaotic or imperfect—are the ones we’ll cherish someday.
Living in the Present Doesn’t Mean It’s Easy
Here’s where I want to be honest: I know this is easier said than done.
I’m not writing this from some place of calm enlightenment where I’ve mastered the art of being present. Trust me, I’m right there in the chaos with you.
On the train today, it didn’t take me one or two seconds to shift my perspective. It took me a good 20 or 30 minutes to get out of my head and really see the moment for what it was.
And even then, it wasn’t easy. I had to remind myself that for me, this might feel overwhelming, but for my kids, it’s an adventure. It’s a memory they’ll hold onto—the time they got to ride a train with their mum, ask endless questions, and explore the world.
It’s okay to feel frustrated. It’s okay to feel like the moment is too much. But if you can, try to pause—just for a second—and remember that this moment, messy as it is, might be the one you look back on with longing someday.
Practical Tips for Finding Joy in the Moment
If you’re like me, living in the moment doesn’t always come naturally.
But here are a few things I’ve found helpful:
Take a Deep Breath
When you feel overwhelmed, pause and breathe. It won’t fix everything, but it gives you a moment to reset and shift your perspective.
Reframe the Moment
Ask yourself: What will I remember about this later? Sometimes, imagining how you’ll reflect on the moment helps you appreciate it now.
Celebrate the Small Things
Whether it’s a smile, a giggle, or a moment of quiet, find one small thing to be grateful for in the chaos.
Let Go of Perfection
Life is messy, and that’s okay. You don’t have to handle every moment perfectly to create beautiful memories.
Pause and Look Around
Just like the man on the train reminded me to stop and see the beauty in my chaos, take a second to really see the moment you’re in.
The Road Ahead
Rediscovering the joy in life’s messy moments isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a practice—a choice you make again and again.
Some days, it’ll feel natural. Other days, it’ll feel impossible. And that’s okay. What matters is that you keep trying.
Because one day, these messy, overwhelming moments will be the stories we tell—the ones we look back on with fondness and love. And when that day comes, you’ll be glad you took a moment to appreciate them while you were still in them.
Take care,
Lindi
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